Haunted Hotel
by TakerTakeMe
Summary: Vince McMahon sends 12 WWE superstars for a stay at a haunted hotel called Blackshore Manor. What will happen and who will make it out alive?
1. The Arrival

**The Arrival**

"Are you guys positive this is the hotel we're supposed to be staying in?" Dave Batista asked his co-workers and friends, as he pulled their 16-passenger van to a stop in front of a creepy-looking hotel called Blackshore Manor. They all got out of the van to stretch their legs.

"Well, it has the same name as the one Vince gave us, Blackshore Manor," Eddie Guerrero said, pointing to the old, faded sign in front of them as evidence. "That's not a common name, so yeah, _ese_, I'm thinking this is it."

"There's no way in hell that I'm staying in there," Stephanie McMahon screeched.

"Just chill out, babe. I'm sure it'll be ok," Triple H told his wife.

"Look at it. Sorry, no way!" Stephanie shrieked.

Everyone looked at the hotel. It looked like it came straight out of a horror movie. It had the custom hanging shingles, broken windows, and high weeds. It basically had a dreary, sad appearance. It was huge, seemingly unoccupied, and it looked like it could contain the portal to hell somewhere deep inside. No light touched it, and so everything was covered in dark shadows.

"That hotel is not meant for a princess of _my _caliber," Stephanie said in a snobby voice.

"Oh, but it's high class for a _slut _like you," Chris Jericho muttered, just loud enough for her to hear. Next to him, fellow Canadian Edge giggled.

Stephanie gasped. "Hunter, did you hear what he just said to me?"

"I'll take care of it. Stay here!" Triple H walked over to Jericho. "You will not call my wife names anymore, understand? Good!" he exclaimed in a voice loud enough for Stephanie to hear. In a lower voice, he added, "Good one, Chris. Keep it up." Then he smiled and walked back over to his bitch...er...his wife. "All taken care of."

Shawn Michaels watched Triple H and Stephanie and shook his head. He wondered why Stephanie was so blind to the real reason why Triple H was with her. He was an ass and he didn't deserve her. She could do a hell of a lot better, starting with Shawn! Why did she put up with Triple H's shit when she could have a life without it? Why-

"Shawn, didn't you feel that?" John Cena asked in a worried voice.

Shawn shook his head and looked up, wondering why the whole group of wrestlers were gathered around him in a circle, looking down at him. "What the fuck is everyone looking at?" he asked, rubbing his jaw because for some reason it was starting to hurt. "And why am I on the ground?"

"Some weird assclown just ran by and hit you in the jaw with this," Jericho said, pointing at an old, crusty toilet seat lying right next to Shawn.

"Yeah, _ese_, and whoever it was knocked you the fuck out!" Eddie laughed.

"I'm glad you think my misfortunes are funny," Shawn said, sitting up and glaring at Eddie. "Thanks for your concern, _chica_," he added sarcastically.

"Hey, I'm not a _chica_! _Soy un hombre_! I'm your _papi_!" Eddie yelled.

"Wow, Eddie, I never knew you were old enough to have a kid Shawn's age," Stacy Keibler commented, and Torrie Wilson nodded her head in agreement.

"Yeah," Torrie agreed. "I always thought you were, like, totally young!"

Ashley, the 2005 Diva Search winner, shook her head. "Dumb bitches," she mumbled.

"Oh, I _am _young," Eddie said, smiling an evil smile. He put an arm around Stacy and an arm around Torrie. "Let me show you how young I am, _mamacitas_!" He started to lead the two women off but was intercepted by The Undertaker.

"We don't know our surroundings yet. We have to stick together, at least for now," Taker told him.

"Oh come on, _ese_, the three of us _were _about to stick together, if you know what I mean," Eddie said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Too damn bad. Now you're not going anywhere," Taker said, giving him a dark look, daring him to argue with him.

"And who appointed you boss?" Eddie wanted to know. "You're not _el cangri_."

"It's a known fact that he's the boss," Ashley said, walking up to join the conversation. "I mean, look at him with his awesome body, all these tattoos, those kissable lips..."

"Sounds like someone has a little crush on the Deadman," Batista observed. (A/N: He's always the observant one.)

"The _married_ Deadman," Taker pointed out, but he winked at Ashley. She beamed. Then he looked at everyone else. "Now I don't know what the hell the psycho Vince McMahon thinks he's pulling by making us come here, but for sure he's up to something wicked."

"Hey, don't talk about my father!" Stephanie exclaimed. "He's the one who cuts your checks, you know. You should be grateful."

"He's the one who should be grateful that we all don't kick his ass," Taker said.

"My dad is a man of high moral standing. He is possibly one of the best men in the history of...of, well, everything!" Stephanie said proudly.

"And probably one of the _only _men you've never slept with," Jericho piped up. He put a finger to his chin and a thoughtful look appeared on his face. "Or have you?"

"Loser!" Stephanie shouted.

"What'd I tell you, man?" Triple H called over to Jericho, but when Stephanie wasn't looking, he gave Jericho a thumbs up and mouthed, "Nice!"

Shawn stood up. "Let's just explore the place and see whether or not we should stay here," he said. "Because I really want to find the assclown that hit me in the face with a toiletseat."

"Hey, assclown is _my_ word!" Jericho complained.

"Because that's what you are," Stephanie muttered, but he ignored her.

"Calm down, people," Taker said. They all got quiet. "Now we're wrestlers, right? We're brave people, stronger than many. There's nothing here that could possibly scare us or hurt us much, right?" They all nodded in agreement. "So I say, let's split into two groups of six and explore this place."

"You know in horror movies whenever they split up they almost always get killed, right?" Batista pointed out.

"This isn't a horror movie, _ese_," Eddie said, rolling his eyes. "Go on, Taker."

"Group one will consist of Shawn, Hunter, Stephanie, Jericho, Edge, and Stacy. I'm appointing Shawn leader of the group," Taker said. There was immediate protesting, but he went on. "Group two will consist of me, Batista, Eddie, Ashley, Torrie, and John. And I'm appointing myself as leader of this group. Any questions?" He gave them all an ominous look.

"Do I have to be in the same group as Chris Jericho, Taker?" Stephanie asked. "I mean, can't I be in _your_ group?"

"Only if Torrie Wilson wants to trade places with you," Taker replied.

Everyone looked at Torrie. Ashley crossed her fingers.

"No," Torrie said, smiling sweetly at Ashley. "I want to stay in _this _group."

"Damn," Ashley muttered, glaring at Torrie. "The bitch just won't leave!"

Stephanie frowned, but didn't protest. She knew better than to argue with The Undertaker.

"Well then it's all set. We can meet back here in..." Taker looked at his watch and realized it wasn't working. "Yeah, my watch isn't working, but in about an hour."

Everyone looked at their watches and realized they weren't working. They pulled out their cell phones but had no signal.

"I have a bad feeling about this place," Edge said, speaking for the first time since they'd arrived. They all looked at him. "A very bad feeling..."

**Who should die or "disappear" first? I have someone in mind but your opinion counts! FYI, The Undertaker can't die so don't vote for him. I won't kill him. LOL! Here are all the people you can choose from: Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, Chris Jericho, Edge, Stacy Keibler, Dave Batista, Eddie Guerrero, Ashley, Torrie Wilson, and John Cena. Hurry up and vote:-)**


	2. Basement: Part 1

**The Darkness Army Does The Basement: Part One**

The Undertaker stood in front of the five superstars in his group near the parking area. His arms were folded across his chest and he was wearing a very serious expression on his face. He looked at each of them, one by one, eyes finally coming to a rest on Ashley.

"You are all now members of my Darkness Army," Taker began. "Like I said earlier, I don't know what the hell Vinnie Mac is up to, but I intend to figure it out."

"Where are we headed to first?" John Cena asked.

"We're gonna find our way inside and start exploring, from the bottom up," Taker answered. "Meaning the basement."

"How do you know there's a basement, _ese_?" Eddie Guerrero asked.

Taker began to speak but Ashley interrupted. "Do you doubt the intuition of our fearless leader, Eddie?" She gave Eddie no chance to speak. "Never doubt him. He's our leader, our master... He knows everything."

"That's enough, Ashley. It's reasonable for Eddie to have doubts," Taker said, smiling a somewhat evil smile at her. He looked back at Eddie. "To answer your question, I know there's a basement because of the location of those windows over there." He pointed at the before-mentioned windows and they all looked.

"Taker is right," Batista observed. "Lower windows just barely above ground level _do_ generally indicate the presence of a basement."

"Yeah, yeah," Eddie grumbled.

Taker led the way up to the side door. They all stopped at the stairs leading up to the door.

"I don't wanna go in," Torrie Wilson spoke up.

"Scared?" Ashley taunted.

"Yeah! There are probably, like, supernatural forces in there," Torrie replied.

"Supernatural? I bet that's the biggest word you know," Ashley commented.

"Ok, that's enough, ladies," Taker said. "Torrie... I want you to hold on to John's arm if you're really _that _scared."

"Can't I hold on to your arm?" Torrie asked hopefully.

"Nope... I am!" Ashley said, and grabbed on to Taker's arm. She smiled up at him. "I'm going to stick to you like glue."

Taker shrugged. Torrie glared at Ashley, then grabbed John's arm. John scowled.

"Ok," Taker began. "Are we ready?"

"Wait!" Shawn Michaels jogged over to them. "Where are you guys exploring first?"

"Basement. Why?" Taker asked.

"Just wondering. We'll do the first floor then," Shawn said. He looked over at his group. Satisfied that he was out of earshot, more particularly Chris Jericho's earshot, he went on, "But I _really_ want to find the assclown that hit me in the face!"

"Ah! I _told_ you 'assclown' is MY WORD!" Chris Jericho yelled from over in Group 1. He started trying to pull his hair out as promised but couldn't.

"Let _me_ help!" Stephanie McMahon told him, eager to aid him in his torment. She hurried to his side and started pulling his hair.

"Quit it!" Jericho yelled. "I know you've been wanting to get your hands on me but not this way!"

"That's it, Jericho! Scream like a little bitch!" Stephanie said, grinning evilly as she pulled Jericho's hair.

"Damn, those two just never quit," Shawn said with a sigh. "I better get over there and break it up." He trotted back over to his group, where Stephanie was currently attempting to make Jericho her bitch.

Taker shook his head. With a nod of his head, his group followed him up the three stairs and up to the door of the side entrance. Taker went to open the door, but for some odd reason, it opened all by itself with a loud, groaning creak.

"Freaky," Ashley commented.

"This happens in the movies," Batista pointed out. "This is a sign that we shouldn't enter."

"We're going in," Taker said decidedly. He stepped inside the door and the others followed cautiously behind.

The place was dimly lit. The carpet on the floor was ratty, stained, and matted to the floor. The place had an instant moldy smell to it. The only light came from torches on the wall, which were spaced about every foot or so apart.

"This place smells worse than Rikishi's thong," John complained, fanning a hand in front of his nose.

"You're right. This place smells like _mierda_!" Eddie agreed.

"This looks nothing like a hotel," Batista said. "It looks more like a mansion of some sort. Where's the lobby? The front desk?"

They all looked down the hallway, but all they could see was a corner.

"Follow me," Taker ordered. He and Ashley led the way down the hallway and found some stairs almost immediately.

They made their way cautiously down the stairs, which squeaked and groaned with each step they took. Once at the bottom, they found themselves in yet another dimly lit hallway, but this time the walls seemed to be made of stone. They kept walking until they reached a corner. Upon turning the corner, they found their first room.

"Who wants to do the honors?" Taker asked. There were no volunteers. "Fine. I'll open it."

Everyone braced themselves for a shock. Taker opened the door and peeked in.

It was a kitchen.

"Ok, what the hell? No one puts a kitchen in the basement," Ashley said. She gripped Taker's arm a little tighter.

They all walked inside the kitchen and looked around. Unlike the hallway, the kitchen was squeaky clean and had all the most up-to-date appliances. It was lit with bright fluorescent lights hanging from the ceiling. They could see one long table with 12 chairs, one on each end and 5 on each side. There were two refrigerators, two stoves, two microwaves, and one dishwasher. There was a pantry over in the corner, and even from where they stood, they could tell that it was fully stocked with food. Near the pantry, there was a bar with bar stools all around it.

"Ooh, a bar! Now _that's_ what I'm talking about," Eddie said with a smile. He walked over to the bar. "Who wants a drink?"

"Wow. This isn't so scary," Torrie said. She let John's arm go and sidled over to the first refrigerator. "I think I'll see what's in here..."

"Maybe it's not a good idea for you to open that," Batista observed. They all looked at him. "I just have this _feeling_ about it," he explained.

"Ah, it's just a refrigerator," Torrie said. "What could be wrong with it?"

"Suit yourself," Batista said with a shrug. _Hey, I tried to warn her..._

Torrie flung the door of the refrigerator open and screamed immediately. "What the fuck is this?" she asked, backing away slowly.

A giant, double-headed cockroach jumped out of the refrigerator. It was about as big as a small dog. It had vicious red eyes and sharp, pointy fangs. It was an ugly shade of brown and black, and it had wings.

The ugly cockroach advanced slowly upon Torrie as she slowly backed away.

"Torrie Wilson. I was expecting you," the double-headed cockroach said in a squeaky voice. It spoke with a heavy lisp.

"How do you know my name?" Torrie asked curiously.

"Everyone knows your name. You're the dumbest diva in the WWE," the cockroach said.

"That's not a very nice thing to say!" Torrie exclaimed.

"Yet, it's true," Ashley laughed, after getting over the initial shock of hearing the double-headed cockroach speak.

The double-headed cockroach kept advancing slowly towards Torrie. "Torrie, Torrie, Torrie... We are going to make you our king's bride!"

"No!" Torrie screamed. She looked at the other members of her group. "_Hello! _Help me, guys!"

John grabbed a bar stool and quickly decapitated the double-headed cockroach. Green blood oozed from the cockroach. John turned around triumphantly, holding both heads up for display. Then he tossed them to Torrie.

"Ew! Why would you toss me that?" Torrie asked, disgusted as she held the heads in her arms.

"Oh come on, Torrie, you're used to having _heads_ thrown at you, right?" Ashley taunted.

"Not decapitated ones!" Torrie fumed.

Ashley made a mock gasp. "Oh my! Torrie knows another big word! Bravo!"

Suddenly Torrie yelled. In her arms, the decapitated heads started moving, and before she could drop them, they both sank their teeth into her left arm. She screamed again and dropped them on the floor. They bounced over to their body and then scuttled away.

"You will join us sooner than you think, Torrie!" the double-headed cockroach yelled, then disappeared.

"Told you not to open that refrigerator," Batista said. "You should've listened."

Torrie rubbed her arm and started crying as it started turning a weird shade of bright yellow...

Everyone looked at each other...

**A/N: Ok, so I added a page to my website exclusively for this story. I can't put a hyperlink here in my story, so go to my profile and click on the link to my homepage. Once you get there, at the top of the page, click on "****Haunted Hotel****". Also, you can just click on the other link on my profile. It's in the second paragraph on there... Also, thanks to everyone who reviewed and voted... Tune in for _Basement: Part 2_ to see who's gonna disappear...**


	3. Basement: Part 2

**3. The Darkness Army Does The Basement: Part Two**

"Um..."

"Yeah, so..."

"Let's go see the other rooms," Taker said finally after no one else could think of anything else to say. They all nodded and he led them out of the room and back into the hallway. They walked a few feet and came upon a door on the other side of the hall. Taker didn't ask for any volunteers, simply because he knew that there wouldn't _be_ any. He just opened the door and stepped cautiously inside.

They all walked inside the huge room, and immediately Eddie screamed.

"Oh shit! This room is full of clones!" He ran back out the door. "We can't stay in there!"

"Relax, _amigo_," Batista said, smiling big as he walked over to the first wall. "These are just mirrors."

"Oh," Eddie said, embarrassed at his outburst. "I knew that."

They looked around the room, which appeared to be a huge bathroom. It had showers, toilets in individual stalls, and sinks, and that was basically it. The floor was tiled. There were mirrors on every surface of the room except the floor.

"This isn't so bad," Ashley said, walking around. "It's just a bathroom."

"Good, because I have to take a leak," John said. He walked over to the first bathroom stall and didn't bother closing the door.

"I wouldn't recommend using that particular toilet," Batista said, noticing what it said on the door. On the door was one word: GRAB.

"I really have to take a leak, man," John said. He unzipped his shorts and was just about to pee when he started screaming. "Let go! Let go!"

"What'd I tell him?" Batista asked in a tired voice. "I _told_ him not to _use_ that one!"

They all hurried over to the stall. Looking around John, they could see a bony-looking hand reaching up out of the toilet. It had what appeared to be an iron grip on John's... Well, you know!

"Now that's just fucked up," Taker said, shaking his head as the hand squeezed John painfully.

"Do something! This hand is COLD!" John yelled, struggling with the hand.

Ashley slid past John and kicked the hand as hard as she possibly could with her boot. "You guys, pull him!" she yelled, constantly kicking the hand, which was slowly sinking back down into the toilet and pulling John's genitals with it. The other four started pulling John away from the toilet while the hand kept pulling him towards the toilet as it sank down. Ashley gave one more hard kick to the hand and it let John go.

They all fell back on each other. The hand pointed over at Torrie, who was still cradling her left arm. Torrie got up and walked over to the hand.

"Not a good idea," Batista said in a sing-song voice.

Torrie ignored him. By now, her whole upper body was bright yellow. The hand motioned for her to lean down and come closer.

"Are you stupid?" Ashley asked. She was still standing next to the toilet and couldn't believe that Torrie was actually going closer.

"No. It's trying to tell me something," Torrie said. "I can _feel_ it."

"That's not all you're going to feel," Batista warned her. Inside, he somehow knew that something bad was about to happen to Torrie again. Hey, he had done his job. It wasn't his fault that she wouldn't listen...

Torrie leaned down. "What would you like to tell me, Mr. Bony Hand?"

An evil cackle of laughter filled the stall. The bony hand shot a bird at Torrie, showing her the middle finger. Torrie's mouth widened in surprise. And then, before she could move back, the hand slapped her across the face. Then the hand disappeared back into the pipes, and water shot out at Torrie, right into her open mouth.

Torrie stumbled back out of the stall as Ashley doubled over in laughter. She just couldn't help laughing at Torrie for being dumb enough to talk to a hand that came out of a toilet! _Torrie _definitely _gives blondes a bad name!_ she thought, following her out of the stall.

Everyone was looking at Torrie strangely as she stood there swallowing the water from the toilet. They backed away from her.

"Um, maybe you should look in the mirror, _chica_," Eddie suggested after an uncomfortable silence.

"What the hell is happening to me?" Torrie cried as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her whole body was bright yellow. Even her hair was starting to turn yellow. Her eyes were all black, and they were getting bigger by the second. Her whole body was slowly beginning to expand. "I look hideous!" she screamed.

"Oh, she knows another word I never thought she'd know!" Ashley exclaimed.

"I... I can't be seen like this!" Torrie yelled miserably. She headed for the door, then ran away from them.

"Come back, Torrie!" Taker called, heading for the door. Everyone else just stood there. "What are you all waiting for? LET'S GO!"

They all hurried out into the hall, only to see Torrie's hair streaking around the corner of a hall they hadn't yet explored. They followed, with Taker leading the way. They rounded the corner just in time to see Torrie enter what appeared to be the only room on the hallway.

"This definitely isn't the traditional hotel," Batista stated as they made their way to the room. "Only three rooms on one floor? Weird."

Taker led the way into the room and stopped almost immediately. "What the _hell_ is that?" he asked, pointing over in the corner.

"Looks like a portal," Ashley said nonchalantly. They all looked at her. "What? I've seen enough on _Buffy The Vampire Slayer_ and _Angel._ I know a portal when I see one."

"The question is, where does it lead to?" John asked, limping into the room to stand next to Ashley. He was ever grateful to Ashley for saving him from the bony hand, and as a result, he now wanted to be next to her at all times.

"I can answer that for you," came a happy voice from the other corner. They all turned around to look and saw a huge yellow smiley face with big black eyes and a huge, shiny white smile. It was wearing a crown and a robe. "What?" the smiley face asked. "You don't know who I am?"

"You look familiar... What's your name, _ese_?" Eddie asked.

"I'm King Rollback," the smiley face said. "My kids work in hell, so that's probably why you all recognize me."

"What's hell?" Taker asked suspiciously. "Does it start with a 'W' and end with a 'T'?"

"Right. It's Wal-Mart," King Rollback answered. "Home of rollback prices!" He smiled a dazzling smile at him.

They all screamed at the mention of Wal-Mart. Yeah, they'd been in Wal-Mart a couple of times. Overall, they'd all had bad experiences there.

Batista regained his composure first. "Did you see a young woman run in here?" he asked King Rollback.

"A young woman?"

"Yes. She was about this tall," Taker said, indicating with his hand. "And she was pretty thin and everything."

"But she was expanding," Ashley added. "And turning yellow... Kind of like you."

"No one came in here except my queen," King Rollback said. "See? She's right over there by the portal."

They all turned their attention to the corner where the portal was and saw a most horrible sight. It was another huge bright yellow smiley face wearing a crown. It was obviously a female, and it was smiling a spectacularly huge, white smile.

"Guys, it's me!" Torrie cried. "And I look hideous!"

"Why are you smiling?" John asked, his brow furrowing.

"Because I can't stop!" Torrie wailed. "I've tried and I've tried and I can't stop smiling!"

"This is ridiculous," Ashley said, shaking her head. "Fucking ridiculous." She turned back to King Rollback. "What are you going to do with her?"

"Isn't it obvious? I've made her my queen," King Rollback said. "We are going to go and rule over hell."

"No!" Torrie cried fearfully, yet still smiling all the time. "I don't want to go!"

"You can't take her. She has a contract with the WWE," Batista informed the king. "King Vince McMahon will kick your ass if you take her!"

"Vince is no match for me and my minions," King Rollback said. "Let's see him come and try to take my queen away." He turned to Torrie. "Queen Rollback, go into the portal."

"No," Torrie said bravely.

"Now," King Rollback ordered. She refused. "You leave me no choice. Soldiers, I command you to come take my queen to hell."

Out of nowhere, seemingly hundreds of tiny bright yellow smiley faces appeared. They all went around Torrie and pushed her into the portal.

"I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you, Ashley!" Torrie yelled, and then she disappeared into the portal with the tiny smiley faces.

"I'm going after her," Eddie said immediately.

"You do know where that portal leads, don't you?" King Rollback asked as he rolled over to the portal.

"Where?" Eddie asked.

"To hell," King Rollback said. "Wal-Mart. Home of the rollback prices! Join us if you'd like to!" And then he disappeared through the portal.

"Yeah, you're not so sure about following her now, are you?" John asked Eddie.

"No way. I vowed never to set foot into Wal-Mart and I don't plan on going there," Eddie said.

They all looked at each other. The group was down to five. Torrie was truly gone.

"Well, there's nothing more we can do here," Taker said with a heavy sigh.

"Poor Torrie," Ashley said, and couldn't believe those words had actually come from her mouth. "I didn't really hate her. I just liked bugging her."

"We better get out of here," John said.

They all headed for the door.

"I'll come back and save you, Torrie," Ashley said in a low voice as she looked at the portal. Then she followed the four men out into the hallway. "Where do we go from here?" she asked.

"I guess we go back upstairs," Taker said sadly, grabbing her. "Stick close together, though. We don't want to lose another member of our group."

As they headed back up the hall, Batista wondered aloud. "I wonder if Group 1 is having better luck than we are?"

**A/N: There were more votes for Torrie to die, so Torrie is gone to hell. The Darkness Army (Taker's group) has been reduced to 5 people... Up next we'll have Group 1 (Shawn's group) exploring the first floor. Here are the people you can vote for to disappear next: Triple H, Stephanie, Chris Jericho, Edge, and Stacy Keibler. Shawn Michaels can't disappear now because, like Taker, he is the leader of a group. Leave your votes in a review and don't forget to visit my website to see layouts of the places they've already explored.**


	4. First Floor: Part 1

**Games Galore On The First Floor: Part 1**

"Ok, Group One. I need to find the assclown who did this to me," Shawn said, pointing at the mark on his cheek, the only thing he had to show from getting hit with the crusty old toilet seat.

"How many times do I have to tell you? Assclown is _my_ word!" Jericho exclaimed for the second time. He turned to Edge. "If he doesn't stop using my word I'm _really_ going to rip my hair out!"

"Say it again, Shawn!" Stephanie exclaimed, anxious to help him pull his hair again. She wanted to make him scream...

"Yeah, Shawn. Tell her to get on her knees again," Jericho said. "She likes that."

"I'll get you back, _blondie_," Stephanie said with a frown.

"And you'll be the one on your back, _brownie_," Jericho snapped back. "Or wait, what are you now? A blonde, too?"

"Enough!" Shawn yelled as his head filled with images of Stephanie on her back. He swallowed hard. "Now, as leader of this group, I say we're going to go explore the first floor _right now_."

"You mean we have to go _inside_?" Stacy asked, looking stricken. Shawn nodded. "Who's going to hold my hand?" she asked fearfully.

"No one, you big baby," Stephanie piped up.

"Who are you calling a big baby, you big _slut_?" Stacy replied.

"You, _bitch_!" Stephanie yelled, getting in Stacy's face.

"Prostitute!" Stacy yelled, not backing down.

"Yes! Catfight!" Triple H said happily, standing back to watch. "Break out the popcorn!"

"Break it up!" Shawn exclaimed. "And no more yelling, arguing, or fighting. Stop acting like children!" He glared at Stacy, then looked at Stephanie. "Stephanie," he said in a low voice. "You're better than this."

Stephanie hung her head, ashamed. "I know."

"Ok. Now that we have that settled, let's do the damn thing," Shawn said. "Come on!" He led the group over to the entrance Taker had used to lead his Darkness Army inside the hotel. He reached for the doorknob and jumped back in surprise when it opened up all by itself.

"Yeah, that's really weird," Edge said, stating the obvious. "Like really _really_ weird."

"I think we already know that," Shawn said. "Now come on." He stepped into the door and led them down a hallway. They came to a door. Knowing there wouldn't be any volunteers to open the door, Shawn opened it himself, and they all followed him cautiously inside.

"This is _Jeopardy!_" came the voice of Alex Trebek.

"What the hell?" Triple H said.

They all looked around the room. It was set up to look just like the actual _Jeopardy!_ game show. There were seats for the audience, and there were three stands up front for the three contestants, whoever they were going to be.

"I'm getting paid for this, but I have a date, so let's make this quick," Alex Trebek said, walking up to the six members of group one. "You three," he said, pointing at Jericho, Stephanie, and Triple H. "You three will be tonight's contestants on the WWE edition of _Jeopardy!_ And you three," he said, pointing at Shawn, Stacy, and Edge. "You three will be members of our audience." No one had time to protest, because Alex snapped his fingers once and all of a sudden they were exactly in the places where he had told them to be. "Now then, this is _Jeopardy!_ Let's meet tonight's contestants..."

"From Big Nose, Connecticut, Triple H!" a feminine voice announced. It came from out of nowhere but sounded vaguely familiar (maybe because it was Lillian Garcia). Triple H put his hand over his nose and rolled his eyes. The voice continued, "From Sluttyville, Connecticut, Stephanie McMahon!" Stephanie sneered and looked at the audience. "And from Heaven... The King of the World... Our party host... Our fearless leader... The first ever Undisputed Champion... The man with the golden hair, the sexy smile, and the perfect body... A _huge_ rock star... I am _such_ a Jerichoholic... Introducing _Chris Jericho_!" the voice announced excitedly. Jericho just grinned as Stephanie and Triple H both shot him equally dirty looks.

"Here are the categories," Alex said. "_Who's Who_, _What's That_, and _Name That Position_."

"Hey, there's more than three categories on regular _Jeopardy!_" Shawn yelled from in the audience.

"Yeah, there's, like, ten!" Stacy agreed.

"This isn't regular _Jeopardy!_ This is WWE Jeopardy, with a twist," Alex explained impatiently. "The rules are different here. For example, the monetary value of the questions might be different, and instead of having two rounds, we're only having one round. Got it?"

"Yeah, we got it. Now can we just play the damn game?" Triple H grumbled, obviously still very much offended over the nose comment. "Because I _am_ The Game, and I am _that _damn g-"

"Without further ado, let's play _Jeopardy!_" Alex exclaimed, interrupting Triple H. "Chris Jericho, make your selection."

"Let's see... I'll take _Who's Who_ for $100, Junior," Jericho said.

"This WWE diva is most commonly called a slut by wrestling fans, perhaps because of the fact that she really _is_ one," Alex read.

"Oh, that's easy," Jericho said to himself. He pushed his buzzer and Alex looked at him. "Who is Stephanie McMahon?"

"That is correct! Choose again," Alex said.

Stephanie looked upset. Jericho grinned. "I'll take _Who's Who_ for $200."

"This wrestler is known for his prominent nose and is commonly said to resemble an ancient Neanderthal. He is said to have inherited his massively large nose from elephant ancestors," Alex said.

Stephanie pushed her buzzer. "Who is Triple H?"

"Correct!" Alex said. Triple H turned crimson. "You may choose again, Stephanie."

"Since I'm such a slut... I'll take _Name That Position _for $500," Stephanie said smoothly.

"You bend over and let me hit you from behind. Hint: Bark a little while you're at it," Alex read in a monotonous voice. "Arf, arf."

"I know! I know!" Triple H said, pushing his buzzer until it almost broke from the pressure he was applying on it. Alex called on him. "What is doggy style?"

"That would be correct," Alex said, looking at his watch. "Choose again..."

The game went on and on until there was only one question left and all three players were tied. "The last question, for $100," Alex said. "Vince McMahon said that his testicles are the size of what type of fruit?"

They all pushed the buzzers as fast and as hard as they could, but apparently Stephanie had the quickest hand. "What are grapefruits?"

"That is correct!" Alex said. "Here is your winner, Stephanie McMahon!"

"Yes! So where's my money?" Stephanie asked greedily, rubbing her hands together in anticipation.

"Oh, did I forget to mention that? See, you're not playing for money," Alex said. "You're playing to learn vital knowledge that you will need in order to survive your stay in Blackshore Manor."

"What kind of bullshit is that?" Triple H asked. "My wife deserves her money...so I can have half of it..."

"One of you will not make it off of this floor tonight," Alex said cryptically. "And here's your first bit of critically important information: The kitchen and the bathroom are both downstairs in the basement. The bedrooms are up in the attic."

"And that's all you're going to tell us?" Shawn asked, walking over to them.

"Oh yeah, and this floor is full of games, so be careful, because when you lose there could be _deadly_ consequences," Alex added. He headed for the door. "Now, if you'll all excuse me, I have a date with the lovely Mae Young, and she rapes me when I'm late... Not that I mind when she rapes me... She loves being in control..."

"Oh, now that's just nasty," Jericho said, looking like he was getting ready to barf.

"Mae's cheating on me?" Edge said in surprise. Everyone turned to look at him. "Uh, I meant ew, that's really disgusting," he said quickly. Everyone looked away. "Mae..." he whimpered softly, but this time no one heard.

"Ok, I guess we've gotten all the information we're going to get out of this room," Shawn said. "Let's get out of here and head on to the next room."

They all agreed and followed Shawn out into the hallway. They were all in a sort of subdued silence, thinking about what Alex had told them. "One of you will not make it off this floor tonight." Did he mean that one of them was going to die? And if that was the case, which one of them was it going to be? They walked a little way down the hall and reached another door. They all stood there in front of the door just looking, wondering what was waiting for them behind the door. No one wanted to open the door at all, but they were going to have to open it soon.

"I'll open it," Jericho said bravely after they had all stood there for five whole minutes just looking at the door. "After all, I'm The King of the World, I'm the brave one." He swung the door open and stepped inside, and the others followed somewhat nervously behind.

"Welcome to _Family Feud_! I'm your guest host, Ashton Kutcher!"

"Oh no, we're not on _Punk'd_ again, are we?" Triple H asked, cringing at the memory of his previous experience with Ashton Kutcher. "I mean, last time I hit some bride-to-be in the nose with a door and I felt _really_ guilty..."

"No, this definitely isn't _Punk'd_, Trips," Ashton answered, giving him a knowing smile. "Now you six need to split into two groups of three. You all have five minutes to decide." Ashton walked over to the audience and started talking to them, leaving the six WWE superstars alone to ponder their decision.

"I want to be on your team," Stacy said to Shawn, pulling on his arm. "And yours, too," she said to Edge, pulling on his arm as well.

"But then that would leave _him_ on _my_ team," Stephanie said, pointing at Jericho. "And _that_ is unacceptable, to say the very least."

"I think it's perfect for us to be on the same team, don't you agree, Trips?" Jericho asked, throwing an arm around Triple H's shoulder and an arm around Stephanie's shoulder. Triple H nodded in agreement as Jericho kept talking. "We could be one big happy family!"

"Somehow I don't see that happening," Stephanie muttered, ducking out from under his arm.

"And why not?" Jericho asked. "I mean, we have all we need in a family. There's Ape Nose right here, the family's pet elephant/human hybrid. Then there's the family slut...that'd be you, Steph. And then there's the gorgeous, sexy, charming, sex symbol...that'd be me. Perfect family."

"Enough with the nose cracks already," Triple H snapped, covering his nose.

"Sooooo sorry. Who _nose_ why I like picking on you so much?" Jericho said. "I promise I'll just stick to the dirty slut jokes for the time being... Although I happen to know that they're all true, so I guess they're not really jokes."

"You're such a jerk!" Stephanie said angrily, punching Jericho in the side.

"Wow, if you wanted to touch my love handles, all you had to do was ask," Jericho said. He grinned when she glared daggers at him.

"I see we've chosen groups already," Ashton said, choosing that particular moment to appear back at their sides.

"No, we haven't officially chosen our groups yet," Stephanie said, shaking her head. She looked at Jericho and wrinkled her nose. "I will _not_ be in a group with this _loser_."

"I'm sorry, Stephanie, but everyone else seems to be ok with these arrangements, so you're just gonna have to deal with it," Ashton said with a dorky grin plastered on his face. "Now, I want you three over here and you three over there..."

Stephanie grudgingly followed Jericho and Triple H over to their spot. Shawn, Stacy, and Edge all headed over to their spot and started talking strategy for the game.

"Well, lookie here," Jericho said, looking down at Stephanie. She was standing between him and Triple H. "Someone likes to be in the middle."

"You know me," Stephanie said with a sigh. "I love being the center of attention."

"What's with the long face, Princess? Sad because you're not getting any customers tonight?" Jericho asked, pinching her cheeks.

Stephanie sighed again and didn't bother replying. She could already tell that this was going to be one long game...

**A/N: I've read the reviews and I know _exactly_ who's disappearing next. There's so much stuff for me to write about on the first floor, though, so you guys might not find out who's going away just yet...**


	5. First Floor: Part 2

**Games Galore On The First Floor: Part 2**

"Ok!" Ashton said excitedly. "I'm Ashton Kutcher and we're going to play Family Feud, WWE style! For tonight, you can call me The Farmhand! Wooo!"

"Geez, he's way too excited," Shawn muttered, just loud enough for Ashton to hear.

"Yo Michaels, you want a piece of The Farmhand?" Ashton challenged him. "Cuz whoa, man! The Farmhand is b-r-utal! Brutal!"

"Can we just start the game already?" Triple H asked, bored. "Because I _am_ The Game, and I am _that_ damn g-"

"Let's play Family Feud!" Ashton interrupted, cutting Triple H off, who scowled, upset that he had been cut off for the second time in a row. "Stephanie, Stacy, get on up here!"

Stephanie dragged her feet as she made her way up to the podium-like platform behind which Ashton was standing. Stacy, on the other hand, skipped excitedly over to her spot and stood there beaming, waiting for the game to start. Stephanie finally made her way up to the podium. Both her and Stacy put their hands behind their backs and waited for Ashton to speak.

"You all know how to play the game. Let's skip the rules and get right to it!" Ashton practically yelled. "We surveyed one hundred wrestling fans, and here's what we asked: Who is the biggest slut in the WWE?"

Stacy hit the buzzer first. "Stephanie McMahon!" she answered.

"I'm sorry, that's the number three answer," Ashton said as the name "Stephanie McMahon" appeared on the board above them. "Stephanie, how about you give it a shot for the number one answer?"

"Mae Young," Stephanie said absently.

"Princess, are you crazy? There's no way that the answer is Mae Young!" Jericho called. "Thanks for helping us lose the damn game."

"Yeah, Steph, thanks a lot," Triple H said, upset.

"You're correct, Steph. That's the number one answer!" Ashton said, looking surprised as the name "Mae Young" appeared on the board. "Never would've thought she would make it on the list, but she _is_ always on the prowl for a hard cock...adoodledoo, that's the sound a rooster makes!" Everyone looked at him like he was crazy, but he just grinned at them. "Ok, Steph, Stacy, go back over to your spots..."

Stacy looked sad as she went back over to her spot, but Stephanie was beaming. "You're welcome," she purred in Jericho's ear once she was back in her spot.

"For what?" Jericho asked, bewildered because her lips were a mere inch from his ear. He could feel her breath tickling his ear. _Very_ weird sensation!

"For helping you...what did you call it..._lose the damn game_," Stephanie whispered. "Looks like I proved you wrong _again_."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Princess," Jericho said, regaining his cocky attitude. "All you've proved by getting that question right is that you know your fellow sluts."

The two glared at each other, faces mere inches from one another. If either of them leaned forward just a little bit, they'd be practically making out!

"Well, aren't you two friendly?" Ashton asked, interrupting their glaring match. "I mean, I've been watching wrestling for a while now, and whenever I see you two together, you're always _this close_ to making out." He held his hand up, his thumb an inch away from his index finger, an indication of how close the two always were. "This close."

"What are you trying to say, assclown?" Jericho asked.

"Assclown? What exactly is an assclown?" Ashton asked. "Is it a clown with a really big ass or an ass with a clown on it or what?"

"I don't know," Jericho said with a shrug. "I just know that you're one."

"Whoa! Watch out there, buddy. The Farmhand is _this_ _close_ to your _face_!" Ashton exclaimed with a laugh. "But anyway, on with the game. Triple Nose, the question: Who's the biggest slut in the WWE?"

"Trish Stratus," Triple H said right away.

"And you're right! This team wins the game!" Ashton said as Trish Stratus's name appeared in the number two spot on the board. "Just a question, Triple Nose... How do you know that Trish is a slut?"

"Well _eeeeeverybody's_ been with her," Triple H said, shrugging. "I mean, there's not one man backstage who can honestly say that he's never had her."

"Hunter? Have you?" Stephanie asked with narrowed eyes.

Triple H held up his hands and smiled nervously at her. "Hey, baby, you know I _love_ you!" he said loudly, and Stephanie's mouth dropped open in shock.

Jericho laughed. "Aw, Princess, looks like your Prince Charming has been getting Stratusfied," he said. He leaned closer to her. "It would only be fair for you to get a heavy dose of my Vitamin C now."

Stephanie looked angrily at her husband, then smiled at Jericho. "Careful, Jerky, or I might just have to take you up on your offer," she said in a low voice.

"I knew it!" Ashton said gleefully, hopping up and down and pointing at Jericho and Stephanie. "You two have always been wanting to fuc... I mean, there's so much sexual tension between the two of you. It's only a matter of time before you guys give in and WHAM! Y2J will be breaking down Stephanie's inner walls..."

"Well, that _is_ what I'm best at," Jericho said, winking at Stephanie. "So are your walls firm or loose or what?"

"Hey! You're talking about my wife here!" Triple H said angrily.

"You've been breaking down Trish's walls... What are _you_ pissed for?" Stephanie countered smoothly.

"But that's different!" Triple H whined. "It's in the past, it's over, it's done!"

"Ok, so is the game over now?" Shawn interrupted, walking over to Ashton.

"I thought I made that obvious when I told this team that they won the game," Ashton said, scrunching up his face at Shawn. "Gee, HBK, old buddy. Maybe it's time for you to hang up your boots... You're getting kinda _senile_..."

"Hey, I'm still young!" Shawn exclaimed. "Look at me, man. Do I _look_ old to you?"

"You know, Shawn, your hair _is_ getting a little thin at the top," Stacy said, walking over to him. "Like, I can almost see your scalp."

"Bitch," Shawn mumbled under his breath. He shook his head and tried to focus. "So, what's our big clue for the next room? Because Alex Trebek told us that this floor is full of games."

"Yeah, that old woman-stealer told us that we would gain valuable information after each game," Edge put in, walking over to the group.

"Hey, Edgester, you been crying?" Jericho asked, looking at his blonde friend.

"Crying? _Me?_" Edge scoffed, quickly wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. "Why would I be crying?"

"Because Alex Trebek is banging your lady," Jericho said with a laugh. "I guess you couldn't keep up with your old slut... I meant, your grandma..."

"Mae is _not_ my grandma," Edge said as his eyes filled with tears. "You're supposed to be my friend, Chris! Why are you doing this to me?"

"Dude, can't you take a joke?" Triple H asked.

"Keep out of this, log nose!" Edge snapped. "This is between me and Chris."

"Haha, you're a log nose," Stephanie laughed, pointing at her husband's nose. She looked at Edge. "That's brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?"

"Well, I _am_ a pretty brilliant guy," Edge said, shrugging. "I'm so brilliant, man... I'm, like, the _epitome_ of the male specimen."

"No, you're more like the epitome of a young guy who's banging a woman old enough to be his grandma...and she's _cheating_ on you with a man old enough to be your _dad_," Jericho laughed. "Now _that's_ funny."

"Oh, man!" Edge cried. His lip quivered as he looked at Chris. "I thought we were friends!"

"We _are_ friends, bro! It's just that your love life is so comical to me... It would be a sin not to point out everything that's wrong with it," Jericho said with a laugh.

"I don't have to take this," Edge snapped, turning on his heel. He ran over to the door and left the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

"You know, maybe I should've told him that it's not exactly safe to be running around in these hallways _alone_," Ashton said, looking over at the closed door. "Like, it's ok to explore this place in groups, but alone..." He shook his head. "I don't think you'll ever see him again."

"What are you _talking_ about?" Stacy asked, twirling her hair around her finger.

"You _so_ wouldn't understand. You're too much of a bimbo," Ashton said, looking critically at her.

"You're absolutely correct, Ashton," Stacy agreed. "I'm a bimbo to the highest degree. As a matter of fact, I can conclude, from the senseless, idiotic way that I behave from time to time, that I am the _prime_ example of a bimbo..." Everyone looked at her with their mouths open wide, and she grinned. "What? I've been reading the dick!"

"The _what_?" Stephanie asked.

"The _dick_," Stacy said impatiently. All the guys looked at her, and she held her hands up. "Really, and I'm the stupid one here?"

"You can read dicks?" Triple H asked with a look of disbelief on his face.

"Yeah," Stacy said, shrugging. "Can't you?"

"I, uh, never tried," Triple H said, clearing his throat and looking around uncomfortably.

"Wait a minute. Do you mean _dictionary_?" Shawn asked, looking at Stacy and trying not to laugh at her.

"Well, duh, Shawn," Stacy said, as if it had been obvious. "The abbreviation for dictionary is dick. Didn't you know that?" Everybody started laughing at her. "What's so funny?" she demanded.

"Like I said before, you wouldn't understand," Ashton said, patting her on the shoulder. "But let me tell you this. If you need a _dick_ to read tonight...I'm your man." He laughed at his joke, and then he was totally serious. "Ok, everyone, I know you're all waiting on your next little tidbit of information, and I have it."

"Well tell us already so we can get out of here," Jericho said impatiently. "I want to find Edge and make sure he's ok."

"You're the reason he left in the first place," Stephanie pointed out. "You and your stupid jokes,"

"Hey, don't insult me," Jericho replied. "Or else, I won't be giving you _any_ Vitamin C tonight."

"Sorry," Stephanie said quickly, closing her mouth.

"You're not giving my wife any of your filthy Vitamin C, Jericho!" Triple H growled. "She's mine, her body's mine, her money's mine, and I _don't_ like sharing!"

"Oh, would you please, puh-_lease _shut...the hell...UP!" Jericho exclaimed. "You don't own her."

"I do! I own her! She's mine!" Triple H yelled, pulling Stephanie close to him. "And _you_ better not touch her!"

"Ok," Ashton interrupted. "This is like a soap opera, and things are heating up! But really, it's time for me to tell you guys this important info, ok?" Everyone nodded, and he went on. "Beware of the weird creatures creeping around this place..." His voice trailed off and he looked at each of them.

"And...?" Shawn asked expectantly.

"And _what_?" Ashton asked.

"Don't you have something else to tell us that would be more beneficial?" Shawn asked.

"No, except that The Farmhand is brutal!" Ashton exclaimed, holding up his hand. "B-r-utal!"

"That's it?" Shawn persisted.

"Yes, man! Oh yeah, and you need Rogaine," Ashton added.

"You know what? That's it," Shawn said, leaning on his left leg. In a flash, he superkicked Ashton. When Ashton was on the floor, Shawn smiled down at him, then looked over at the remaining members of his group. "Ok, group, we have three goals. Goal number one, get out of this room and find Edge. Goal number two, explore the rest of this floor and gain more valuable information. And goal number three, get upstairs to the attic unscathed."

"What does 'unscathed' mean?" Stacy asked. "I don't remember seeing that word in the dick. Is that word similar to the word 'uncircumcised'? Because that's in the dick."

"You know what, Stacy? I think you should just be quiet for now," Stephanie said. "Really. Because you don't know what the hell you're saying."

"Steph's right. Just pipe down, Stacy," Shawn said. He headed for the door. "Come on, you all. Let's get out of here..."

**A/N: So this chapter is WEIRD as HELL! It's crazy! I've concluded that I can't finish the first floor in two chapters like I did the basement, so just know that there will probably be two more chapters for this floor before we move on... Other than that, I hope you guys liked this chapter, and don't forget to leave me a review!**


	6. First Floor: Part 3

**Games Galore On The First Floor: Part 3**

"Ok, Group 2, we have to stay calm," Shawn said to the four people standing near him. "Edge is gone and we don't know where the hell he is, but it's most likely that he's wandering around somewhere in this place. I think we should mentally prepare ourselves for whatever could be lying behind this third door, and-"

"I wanna look for Edge," Jericho interrupted.

Shawn looked at Jericho. "Look, Y2J, Taker appointed _me_ as the leader of this group. Therefore, _I_ hold the power. _You_ are to follow _my_-"

"I don't give a damn about your rinky dink rules. Edge is my _friend_, believe it or not," Jericho said, folding his arms across his chest. "And I want to-"

"_It doesn't matter what you want to do!_" Shawn exclaimed. "Because the fact of the matter is this, Jericho. I-"

"How _dare_ you steal The Rock's catchphrase?" a voice boomed from behind them. They all turned around as The Rock sauntered up to them. "Well? Gonna answer my question?"

"Where the hell did you come from?" Triple H asked curiously.

"What?" The Rock asked.

"Where the hell did you come from?" Triple H repeated.

"WHAT?" The Rock asked again.

Triple H exhaled slowly. "I _said_ where the _hell_-"

"It doesn't matter what you said!" The Rock exclaimed. He turned to look at Shawn. "The Rock needs to know one simple thing, and that, HBK, is why you feel that you have the _right_, the _privilege_, to use The Rock's catchphrase!"

"Well, Rock, I-" Shawn began.

"He's been using mine, too!" Jericho exclaimed accusingly. "It's like he's too old to think of his own catchphrases or something!"

"You know, Jericho, The Rock thinks you might be on to something," The Rock said, tapping his chin thoughtfully. He looked at Shawn. "The Rock has somewhere to be, so he'll cut this short. HBK, you should never, _eeeeever_ use The Rock's catchphrases! Now can you dig _that_, sucka?"

"Hey, assclown, don't use my catchphrase!" Jericho exclaimed.

"The Rock can use any catchphrase he wants to use!" The Rock said smugly. "Because The Rock is The People's Champion and all of the millions-"

"And millions!" thousands of voices yelled out of nowhere.

"-of Rock's fans can smell what The Rock is cooking!" The Rock finished.

"Geez, what a hypocrite!" Stacy exclaimed, finally speaking. Everyone looked at her. "What? Rock, you're jumping all over Shawn for using your catchphrase and then you turn around and use Jericho's catchphrase _and_ Booker T's catchphrase, too! _Very_ hypocritical."

"For the first time in history, I agree with Stacy," Stephanie piped up. "And why the hell are we out here arguing about some stupid catchphrases, anyway? They all suck!" She looked at Jericho, who looked stung by her words, and she quickly added, "Except for Jericho's catchphrases. They're so cool and interesting..."

"Aw, Princess, you're so sweet!" Jericho exclaimed. He gave her a come hither look and flashed her his version of bedroom eyes. "Come here, let me give you a little smooch, Sugar Muffin!"

"There will be no smooching!" Triple H exclaimed, pulling Stephanie close. "So let's just go in this damn room, play this damn game, and get it over with! Fuck!"

"Don't be so freaking sensitive, Hunter," Stephanie chided, eyes on Jericho. "He was just kidding about kissing me."

"No, I wasn't," Jericho said, staring intently at her. "Summerslam was a loooong time ago... It's been too long."

"Really?" Stephanie asked, tearing herself away from Triple H and practically floating over to Jericho. "You really want to kiss me?"

"Well, it's always been my dream to get the chance to kiss you again," Jericho said softly, putting one arm around her waist and pulling her against his body. He went on in a low voice, lips a mere inch away from hers, head bent slightly. "Steph... I..."

"Yes?" Stephanie asked breathily, reaching up to touch his face. "Tell me, Jericho... Tell me how you feel about me..."

Jericho took a deep breath, then went on, lips softly brushing against hers. "I... Steph, the truth is..." He kissed her softly, then pulled back and smirked at her. "I've always wanted to make out with a filthy, dirty, disgusting, brutal, skanky, bottom-feeding, trash-bag-"

"Bitch!" Stephanie muttered, wiping her lips off and looking at him in disgust. She slapped him before he could finish his statement, then stalked back over to her husband. "Did you hear what that bastard just said?"

"Yeah," Triple H said with a snicker, not seeming to care that his wife had just been kissed by another man. Stephanie glared at him, but he just kept laughing. "Man, that trash-bag line gets me every time."

Suddenly, Edge came running up to the group, bubbly with excitement. "Hey, guys! What's up? What are you guys standing around here for?"

"Where the _hell_ were you, you idiot?" Jericho asked, rubbing his face, which had Stephanie's handprint on it.

"I found this secret room and I went inside. I got a French manicure, and _then_ I got my teeth cleaned. See?" Edge held his hands up to show his perfectly manicured nails, then smiled a bright, dazzling, super-white smile.

"The Rock says he sees the light! The Rock is going blind!" The Rock exclaimed, hands over his eyes.

"Teeth...too...white..." Stacy moaned, covering her eyes and peeking through her fingers. "Blinding...light..."

"Close your damn mouth, Horse Face!" Jericho yelled, and he slapped Edge in the back of the head. Edge immediately stopped smiling, and everyone sighed in relief, thanking Jericho for getting the job done, to which Jericho replied, "What'd you all expect? Y2J _always _gets the job done... Isn't that right, Stephanie?"

The Rock stumbled away and disappeared down the hall, and Shawn turned back to face his now-whole group again. "Ok, _that's_ over. Let's just go in the room, ok?" Everyone nodded. He opened the door to the third room and stepped inside with everyone following close on his heels.

Right away, Edge and Triple H were dragged by some invisible force across the huge, empty room to a soundproof, transparent booth in the corner and locked inside. They didn't even attempt to escape because they both knew that their attempts would be futile. They both sat down on the two stools that were there and two video game controllers were placed in their hands.

"What the hell are they holding video game controllers for?" Shawn wondered.

"Maybe they're going to play a video game," Jericho suggested.

"But what about _us_?" Stephanie whined, pouting. "What will we do? Why do they get to have all the fun?"

"We'll be inside the game," Stacy said matter-of-factly, as if she already knew what was going to happen.

"How is that even possible?" Stephanie asked. She held up her hand as Stacy opened her mouth to speak. "Know what? Don't answer that. You're just stupid..."

Meanwhile, inside the soundproof booth, a loud disembodied voice began to speak to Edge and Triple H. "Welcome to the fantastic world of the Sims. The object of this game...your _mission_, is to use logic and wit to get Stephanie to willingly kiss Jericho before it's midnight in Sim City."

"What? You want me to let my wife kiss that bastard again? Fuck that!" Triple H exclaimed, standing up. "No way, no how. I'm not doing it."

"SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, YOU PANSY!" the voice ordered, sounding a bit like Kane. Triple H had no choice but to obey. "Good. Now you _will_ do this, you _will_. You have no choice in the matter. Your safety and your chances of survival here at Blackshore Manor depend on that kiss."

"Say I agree to play this game," Triple H mused, looking out into the larger room and over at his wife. "Where's Sim City? I don't see it."

"Look again," the voice said, and suddenly, Sim City appeared and the larger room seemed to disappear.

"Well damn," Edge said, amazed at the virtual world before them.

"It is seven in the morning. You will have exactly seventeen hours to make them kiss," the voice said. "Triple H, your controller controls Jericho. Edge, yours controls Stephanie. Now remember what the goal is, and remember what happens if you don't reach it..."

"We got it," Triple H mumbled.

"Ready?" the voice asked. "The clock starts ticking...now!"

"What the hell just happened?" Stephanie asked, looking around. She was standing in the middle of a dirt road that hadn't been there just seconds before. "Where are we?"

"We're right outside Sim City," Stacy said, pointing at a sign that said exactly that.

"Sim City? Isn't that a place in a video game?" Shawn asked.

"Yeah," Jericho answered, looking at Shawn in surprise. "You know about video games?"

"Of course I do," Shawn said. "I play them in my spare time."

"I didn't know that," Jericho said, looking amazed. "I thought you were too old to do things like that."

"Why the hell is everyone bugging me about my age?" Shawn asked, pouting a little. "I'm not that old! Damn it!"

"While these two idiots are arguing, why don't we go into the city and go shopping?" Stacy suggested, looking at Stephanie.

"Me and you? Together?" Stephanie scoffed. She looked at Jericho and her shoulders slumped a little. "Hell, why not, Stace? Anything to get me away from that jerk for a while."

"Aw, you called me Stace!" Stacy said, clapping happily. She reached over and gave Stephanie a hug. "We're going to be the bestest of best friends!"

"Bestest isn't a word," Stephanie pointed out as they started walking down the dirt road towards the city.

"It must be, if you just said it," Stacy replied logically.

"What the hell am I doing?" Stephanie groaned, slapping herself on the forehead.

"Uh, Edge? Why are you letting Steph walk away with Stacy?" Triple H asked, looking over at the blonde man sitting next to him.

"Why aren't you making Jericho follow her?" Edge countered wisely.

"Man, I'm in a funk. Steph is my _wife_," Triple H said with a sigh. "You think I want to see Chris Jericho shoving his tongue down her throat?"

"I guess not," Edge said. "But remember, this is just a video game. It's not real life."

"Oh really?" Triple H asked, a smirk appearing on his face when Edge nodded. "Well, why didn't you say so? Let me show you how to play the game..."

"Stephanie! Come back, my love!" Jericho called when he noticed Stephanie and Stacy walking away.

"You ok, man?" Shawn asked, looking at him strangely.

"Does it look like I'm ok, Shawnie? The love of my life is walking away and leaving me behind!" Jericho exclaimed. He grabbed Shawn's arm. "Come on, my friend. We must give chase!"

"I don't wanna run after them! My leg hurts," Shawn complained.

"Then limp behind, buddy, but I have to follow my lady!" Jericho announced, and then he took off at full speed, running behind Stephanie.

Stephanie heard him coming and grabbed Stacy's arm. "Stace, we have to run," she told her, already starting to jog. "Jericho's running after us and I don't know why!"

"Because he's in love with you," Stacy replied, starting to jog as well.

"Jericho's not in love with me," Stephanie countered. "He hates me."

"The way he insults you, the way he teases you and makes fun of you... It's all just a clever facade to hide the true feelings he has for you," Stacy told her. "Believe it or not, Chris Jericho loves you... He always has, but you've always been off-limits so he's never had a chance to be with you. That's why he teases you. He has to get your attention someway, right?"

"That jerk has had my attention since the moment he stepped into the WWE," Stephanie said. "With his stupid...ok, great...blonde hair and those blue eyes of his... And that sexy little smirk he gets, God!" She stopped to just picture him in her mind for a minute. "But he hates me."

"I do not!" Jericho exclaimed from behind her.

"Do too!" Stephanie countered.

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Are we going to just make them argue this whole time, or can they just kiss and get it over with?" Edge asked. "I really have to take a leak..."

"Aw, but I was just about to make Jericho call her a trash-bag ho!" Triple H whined. "Can't I just let him say it once?"

"Fine, but then make him persuade her to kiss him," Edge said. "Because I can't hold my pee..."

"Ok," Triple H said, fingers flying over the video game controller in his hands.

"I don't fucking hate you, you skank!" Jericho exclaimed, grabbing her shoulders. "I mean, it might seem like it, but I don't. You're my favorite filthy, dirty, disgusting, brutal, skanky, bottom-feeding-"

"You're an assclown, Jericho," Stephanie said, throwing her arms around him. "A real assclown."

"Why is everyone using my damn word tonight?" Jericho complained. "I've made it clear that my words are for me to use, only me! So why-"

"Shut up and kiss me, you idiot," Stephanie ordered, but instead of waiting for him to kiss her, she kissed him instead.

"Ok, what the hell?" Shawn asked, looking at Jericho and Stephanie making out. "How unfair is this? He calls her a skank and she makes out with him? That's bull."

"Aw, I know you want her," Stacy said, patting Shawn on the back. "But you just have to wait your turn, you know? Eventually she'll be on your corner and she'll be willing to let you make use of her expert services..."

"Are you calling her a ho?" Shawn asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, your words, not mine," Stacy said with a shrug.

"Can they stop kissing now?" Triple H asked.

"I'm not controlling Stephanie now," Edge said, rocking back and forth. "She's doing this on her own."

"You two have done a remarkable job," the weird voice said, filling the room once again. "I gave you seventeen hours, and you barely used one. You all shall be rewarded for this..."

"What do we get? Money?" Triple H asked, greedily rubbing his hands together at the thought.

"No, not money. You get valuable knowledge. Haven't you learned by now? Sheesh!" the voice exclaimed, irritated. "And here's your valuable knowledge... It's in the form of advice: Beware of assclowns."

"Come again?" Edge said, momentarily forgetting that he had to pee.

"I said, beware of assclowns!" the voice said.

"What exactly is an assclown?" Triple H wanted to know.

"There are a lot of them running around in this building. You'll know them when you see them," the voice said. "Now get out of here and move on to the next room, which is another video game room, by the way."

"Is there a toilet around here somewhere?" Edge asked.

"Sure...in the basement," the voice said. "Venture down there if you dare..."

"I really have to go!" Edge said, then got up and ran out of the booth and out of the room, headed by himself for the basement...

Triple H walked out of the soundproof booth and looked around. The room was back to normal, normal being vast and empty. He walked over to the other members of his group and was surprised to find Stephanie and Jericho still making out. "Break it up already!" he growled.

Jericho pulled back and looked affectionately at Stephanie, then smirked. "Not a bad kiss, not a bad kiss at all," he said approvingly.

"Hey, I'm just that damn good," Stephanie replied, touching his chest. "And obviously, so are you..."

"Ok, this is done with, so let's get out of here," Shawn said, tired of watching Stephanie and Jericho together. He looked around and a frown creased his brow. "Where's Edge?"

"He had to take a leak, and the toilet is in the basement," Triple H said. "So he headed for the basement...alone."

"And you didn't go with him?" Jericho asked incredulously.

"Well, no. Why should I?" Triple H asked with a shrug. "We're not on a buddy system. This isn't third grade."

"Sometimes, I think your nose is bigger than your brain," Jericho said angrily. "Why would you just let him leave when you know it's dangerous to wander the halls alone?"

"Yeah, why'd you do that?" Stephanie demanded.

"Why are you two ganging up on me?" Triple H asked, lower lip trembling.

"Look, let's just go to the last room on this floor and be done with it," Shawn interrupted. Everyone grudgingly agreed, and they all exited the room, once again with Edge not with them...

**A/N: I had big plans for this chapter, really big plans...in my mind. I can't seem to type what I'm thinking, though! I've had this whole Sims thing planned out since last YEAR and I just found myself wanting to end this chapter really fast... Sorry if I confused anyone. Oh yeah, and reviews would be greatly appreciated... Thanks!**


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